Energy Potion

Alan: Oh my god I’m dying.

Alan: End me guys. Just take my body and throw it in a hole six feet deep.

Melody: Stop complaining, it’s not that bad.

Bruce: Shut the fuck up and pass me more coffee.

Alan: Coffee. All I consume, all I taste. Is goddamn coffee.

Cleo: I don’t know about you guys IM DOING GREAT 😀

Melody: Oh god I think she found where I hid her Monster.

Melody: Cleo no do you KNOW how bad that is for you?! Spring water. Deep breathing. That’ll get you through finals!

Alan: … On what planet do you live on?

Melody: The one where nature provides rather than artificial chemicals and manmade poison.

Bruce: Oh man I haven’t laughed this hard since… I can’t remember. More coffee. More coffee. My fingers are shaking so much and I still don’t have this paper done. Spellcheck thinks I’m developing Parkinson’s.

Cleo: Your fingers only JUST started shaking? D:

Melody: Your kids are all going to end up with ADHD.


Melody: I have decided my earlier statements may have been naïve.

Alan: Nooo, really?

Melody: RIP. X.X

Cleo: Okay, after spending all morning in bed with a migraine maybe drinking that many Monsters in a row was a bad idea. Whoopsie daisy.

Bruce: I’m surprised you’re not dead.

Cleo: Same bro. Fuck finals.

Melody: We’re all doomed.

Alan: … hold on a sec guys I got this weird ad on the college website, lemme show you.

Alan: [IMG]

Alan: Ignore that it looks like every ‘graphic design is my passion’ advertisement ever.

Melody: Oooh, a natural remedy?

Cleo: No crash? I’m sold. How much is it, I don’t wanna blow my food budget.

Bruce: Thiiis sounds like bull. Don’t do it man.

Alan: Too late. Emailed the seller.

Bruce: Cocksucker.

Alan: You wish jackass.

Cleo: Shut the fuck up guys. I’m emailing Gus too. See if he’ll work out a deal. Jesus, a week’s amount of doses is over thirty bucks… hello Ramen cups and poptarts. How I missed you.

Melody: I have some extra quinoa!

Cleo: Errrrr…

Bruce: I mean. We only need a week’s worth. Then finals will be over.

Alan: Ooooh, changing your tune, mister skeptic?

Bruce: If I don’t pack in as much study time as possible I’m going to fail. I’m not gonna let that happen.

Alan: Awww yeah! Let’s try some kid’s science experiment!


Alan: I’m still laughing that it’s called ‘Energy Potion’. What sort of geeky ass bullshit?

Bruce: Taking the first pill now. I have to study.

Melody: All at once, readysetgo!

Cleo: …

Cleo: I didn’t expect it to dissolve. Thought it was like birth control.

Bruce: Literally tastes like piss. Literally.

Alan: Spend a lot of time doing that Bruce?

Bruce: Eat shit.

Alan: 😛

Melody: Maybe it’s the color that brings on the whole urine sensation. So icky.

Cleo: Blergh. My mouth feels awful, how’s this supposed to work Alan?

Alan: ‘One pill and you’ll have bursts of energy throughout the night, a slow burn rather than a high followed by a crash.’ Taken right from the product description.

Melody: Oddly enough, I feel its working! Or maybe that’s the crystals I set up around my study place.

Bruce: Or placebo effect. That too.


Cleo: Bruce?

Bruce: What’s up Cleo? Any reason you’re not messaging with the group?

Cleo: … I took another pill this morning.

Bruce: Shit, are you feeling sick? I mean it does wonders don’t get me wrong, but I don’t think you can stay awake all day like that.

Cleo: I know I know I’m sorry, I’m just letting you know in case something goes wrong. And it did work. I didn’t feel tired until the sun went up. Still pretty sleepy.

Bruce: You wanna come over to my apartment to study? I know the dorm’s pretty rough on you.

Cleo: Well…

Bruce: I’ll have more Monster for you.

Cleo: Sold. Can we play a few rounds of Overwatch too?

Bruce: As long as I can be your pocket Mercy.


Melody: This is the best stupid idea you’ve ever had Alan!

Alan: I know right? You know how productive I was last night? Focused?

Melody: I know! I didn’t even feel buzzed! Just AWAKE!

Cleo: Slept through one of my classes though. The crash does come, just when the sun comes up.

Bruce: Whatever man, most of my classes don’t care about attendance except when it comes to finals. Two more days until it begins.

Cleo: I can’t wait for them to be over. I might take it easy. No more all fighters. I’ll save the rest of my pills for another time.

Melody: To be honest I haven’t even been taking mine.

Alan: … What?

Bruce: Sure Melody haha how the heck have you put in more studying time?

Melody: I just feel more awake at night. I think my internal clock is changing, a few sessions of meditation and I’ll be able to refresh myself.

Alan: That’s weird.

Cleo: You know, now that I think about it, I think I forgot to take the pill last night because of how awake I was? It just felt more natural to be awake at night rather than the day. I powernapped at midnight but that’s it. It’s probably just working its way out of our systems.

Bruce: god I hope so. I swear if you end up hospitalized because of this…


Cleo: TMI, I don’t care.

Alan: You too?

Bruce: Same.

Melody: I’m anti shaving but this is RIDICULOUS.

Bruce: …  How the hell did we get on the same wavelength so fast?

Cleo: I mean we’re friends. That’s how it is right?

Cleo: That’s beside the point. The point is my bush is thicker than a jungle, and I JUST got waxed as a reward for passing finals.

Alan: That is really TMI but same.

Melody: I might actually break out the razor.

Bruce: probably just get a weed whacker…

Cleo: Took the words out of my MOUTH.

Alan: Maybe it’s just a full moon, either way, finals are over, toss out the damn pills, we’re GOOD.


Bruce: I’m still not sleeping at night.

Melody: Neither am I. I’m back at my mom’s and she’s getting SUPER worried.

Alan: I keep nodding off at work. This fucking sucks. I’m gonna get canned at this rate and I don’t wanna go back to living with my parents.

Bruce: Have either of you heard from Cleo? I haven’t since she got home to her parents. I feel like she’s fine, but you know, I worry.

Alan: I know you two finally got together but relax, she’s fine.

Melody: She’s probably just organizing her room.

Bruce: … How the fuck did you know we were together?

Melody: …

Melody: I… don’t know. I just guessed I guess.

Bruce: Bull. We haven’t told anyone. Her dad’s racist as hell, you really think he’s cool with his princess dating a black guy?

Alan: Isn’t that beside the point anyway?

Bruce: No, not it’s not.

Bruce: I really didn’t want to say this.

Bruce: Alan, I know you’re bisexual. You were at the LGBT safe space the night before graduation.

Bruce: And Melody, you believe in this vegan hippie bullshit only to make your mom happy. Because she’d be horrified to find out you’re atheist. You were at Burger King yesterday and I know you weren’t there for the salad.

Bruce: I just know what you two are doing at any time, any place, anywhere. I know where to find you right now. I can’t put it into words but it’s like we’re connected.

Bruce: Do you realize it too?

Melody: … Yes.

Melody: I was worried last night because you weren’t safe. And when you got home and told me that you were nearly in a car accident I almost screamed. I don’t believe in this sixth sense bullshit. I don’t believe in any of it. I was a vegetarian because of logic reasons, not that I ‘feel the animal’s souls’.

Alan: But you’ve also been eating a lot of meat lately too, huh?

Bruce: There’s so many jokes I can make about the meat thing.

Alan: Time and a fucking place, Bruce.

Alan: I’ve basically become a carnivore overnight. I made myself three steaks last night because I just couldn’t get full. I’m blowing through my food budget like there’s no tomorrow.

Bruce: Damn. I’ve been getting by on chicken nuggets but nothing beats a rare steak right now. I could go get one right now. If I wasn’t so damn tired.


Bruce: Cleo? Are you there? I know you’re okay but I’m wondering for how much longer.

Bruce: Please tell me you’re okay.

Cleo: … I’m hideous.

Cleo: My new teeth are all sharp. I’m so hairy. The only thing I like to eat is meat. I only like being out at night, and when I do, I explore my territory.

Cleo: I’m not what you want.

Bruce: No no no, it’s all of us, Cleo. My teeth just started to get loose. The night is beautiful, isn’t it?

Cleo: Especially the moon. But I feel so alone. I’m not supposed to be alone. I love you, Bruce. So much. We’re meant to be.

Bruce: We are. All of us need to be together. It’s getting stronger by the day. What’s happening to us?

Cleo: The potion. The energy potion.

Cleo: That fucker turned us into freaks!

Bruce: Nonono, you’re not a freak. If it wasn’t for this new connection, I wouldn’t have made a move that night. Appearance or not, this isn’t… all bad.

Cleo: Not all bad?

Cleo: What is even the end of this? What are we turning into?

Bruce: Hang tight. We’ll be okay, I promise.

Cleo: … my dad’s banging on my door fuckfuckfuck I think he knows about us

Bruce: Cleo?

Bruce: Cleo?!?!


Bruce: CLEO!


Bruce: She’s in trouble.

Melody: I’m already almost to her house. Alan’s with me. Meet us there.

Bruce: Keep her safe.


Bruce: Shaken them off?

Melody: Yes.

Cleo: They couldn’t keep up. They’re weak. They don’t have our senses in the dark.

Alan: I got rid of the body. And our clothes.

Bruce: You know where to go?

Cleo: We’ll meet you there.

Alan: You’re in charge.

Alan: We’ll get through this together.

Melody: Yes.

Cleo: Yes.

Bruce: Yes.