How I Met My Girlfriend

I love to talk about my girlfriend. She’s amazing. I don’t share often how we met though. Probably because it’s a little embarrassing, but I mean, people have met in way worse ways than we did.

So I was out at the bar with my friend Andrew, as typical, we were both looking for some nightly company and were playing each other’s wingman. It’s what a good friend does. I have the looks, Andrew has the wit and the charm. I mean, I have that too, but you gotta let your pal have SOMETHING, you know.

It was a pretty great night up until I knocked her drink out of her hand. Booze spilled across the floor and I had to jump to make sure it didn’t get on my shoes.

I apologized before I even saw her face.

She was petite. Blonde. Wide blue eyes. Round face. A girl next door archetype, if you will. She immediately apologized back, not even realizing how alcohol was starting to seep into her shoes. She seemed beyond flustered and blamed herself for my klutz move.

Her name was Faith. And I knew I’d found the perfect gal.

I ordered her a new drink while she cleaned off her shoes, another ‘sorry’ or two spouting out between sentences. A little insecure then. She didn’t really have a reason to be insecure about her looks, that was for sure. But it didn’t take much to get her to relax and enjoy another drink with me.

Faith was an English major at the nearby community college, she worked at two different restaurants to keep up paying bills. Somehow she also kept up her grades while working her butt off and sometimes she liked to volunteer at the animal shelters. She was a cat person.

I was a dog person, but she didn’t seem to mind that.

Faith’s friend was all over Andrew, as in I’m pretty sure they went a round in the men’s bathroom before they came out laughing. Andrew was flushed red as his hair and was bringing up heading back to the hotel room already. He’d really hit it off with his girl.

And when I asked Faith if she was interested in taking this party back to the room, she was hesitant, but she smiled and nodded.

Virgin she might be, but she had no intention of holding onto that virginity.

We didn’t jump each other the moment we got into the hotel room, Faith was nervous even with those drinks in her. So we just laid on the bed and talked. I learned more about her.

She was a Virgo. She didn’t believe in astrology, or so she told me, but she still checked her horoscope daily. She had a boyfriend who’d recently dumped her, hence why her friend dragged her out. Time to get him out of the system. She’d had her first kiss when she was thirteen, it was with another girl. I did make a joke about that, but she smacked my shoulder and told me to stop being gross. I did, by the way, and opened up that I’d had sexual experiences with both men and women myself. Sexuality is fluid as fuck and that’s perfectly fine.

But she wanted that ex out of her system, and I was the man for the job.

It was good, for the both of us. I’m not the kind of guy to go five minutes in missionary position before rolling over and going to sleep. I need satisfaction from my partner. Crave it.

And she was ‘satisfied’ no less than four times before her heart stopped.

The last time, she was on top, her breath coming out in staggered gasps, her body covered in a thin sheen of sweat. She kept begging for more, called me an addiction and that she just wanted more before she gasped, body went stiff, before she went limp like a ragdoll and toppled off of me. I had to scramble to catch her before she hit the floor. Her eyes stared blankly at the ceiling as I gently pulled her back on the bed and brushed the hair from her eyes.

I sighed. I really hoped she wasn’t that type, the one that got hooked on what I had to give, but the innocent always are. This is why I didn’t date- odds are my partner ends up giving me all they have in one go and then they keel over. It’s sorta depressing, but that’s my life, ya know? Faith was a great girl, don’t get me wrong, but I’m used to my playthings croaking after a roll in the hay.

I got her comfy under the covers and managed to pull on my jeans before the door connecting my room to Andrew’s opened.

“Faith? You ready to go?”

That’s when she walked in.

Prominent cheekbones. Gray eyes sharp as broken glass. Red lipstick smeared across perfect lips. Sex tousled brown hair that cascaded down her back, almost to her ass. Tall, actually taller than me and I’m not short. She was topless, she’d walked in only wearing a pair of tight skinny jeans.


She strutted to the bed, rested her fingers on Faith’s neck before she gasped and backed away. “She’s… she’s dead?” She looked up at me before she grinned.

“I see then. Eye for an eye.”

I frowned before I realized what she meant and I bolted into Andrew’s room.

Oh boy, Andrew didn’t stand a chance. He was handcuffed to the bed, body gone slack but his lips were curled in the most satisfied smile. He’d had a hell of a time before he croaked.  

I was stunned. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think.

A slender hand rested on my shoulder and spun me around.

The girl cocked her head to the side. “… So… I’m Maya. I think we need to have a talk, I’ve never actually met another of our kind before. Grab a drink with me?” She asked.

And that is the story of how I met my girlfriend. Maya is perfect. She really gets me for me, we talk about things that I couldn’t even begin to talk about with other girls. The sex is mindblowing. Maya is hilarious, she could be a stand up comedian. I could be biased because I’m her boyfriend, but eat me, you’d be biased too.

Plus now whenever I go out to feed off of humanity’s ‘satisfaction’, I have Maya with me. It’s great to have someone watching your back like that.

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