Hush Little Baby

Dear Diary,

We’re going on a vacation! I’m really surprised because daddy said we didn’t have the money for a summer vacation this year, but he came home today and told me and mommy to start packing. I don’t know where we’re going yet, but I can’t wait.

I filled my suitcase to the brim with my clothes. Daddy hasn’t said how long we’ll be gone yet, I wonder if we’re going to see grandma and grandpa down in Florida? I hope so! They promised the next time I came down they’d take me to Disneyworld. I’ve always wanted to go.

Mommy’s really tired so I’m trying to help her pack, but she keeps saying ‘don’t worry’ and sends me back to my room. I wonder if the baby will be born in Florida?

Gotta go, dad’s coming down the hall, he really wants to get going!

Bethany

*~*

Dear Diary,

We’re on the road! Boy, we packed a lot of stuff into the van. Dad’s put on my favorite playlist so we can sing Let It Go on the way to Disneyworld. He hasn’t said that’s where we’re going yet, but I just know it! Why else would we pack so much?

I get to take up the whole back seat, when it’s nighttime dad usually lets me unbuckle so I can sleep. It’s always so hard sleeping in the car though. I hope mom doesn’t need to puke. When she first told me that I was getting a little brother or sister, she was nonstop barfing! Blegh! Barf is gross!

Oh, I think we’re meeting with Uncle Harry and our cousins on the way down too. I hope Uncle Harry brings his camper. We’re not allowed to stay in it while it’s moving, but maybe if I ask reeeaaallly nicely…

Bethany

*~*

Dear Diary,

I get to stay in the camper!

It was getting really dark by the time we met up with Uncle Harry. Traffic was really bad today and dad had to keep turning off Frozen so he could check on the radio. I dunno why, I think he wanted to hear the traffic reports.

For some reason Auntie Debbie isn’t here. I tried to ask Uncle Harry why she wasn’t but he seemed grumpy so I just played Go Fish with Kevin and Macey. Kevin didn’t even call it a baby game this time, so that was fun.

Macey said she thinks her mommy was working at the hospital when it was time to go. That’s really sad. She’s gonna miss Mickey Mouse.

Bethany

*~*

Dear Diary,

Ugh! I’m so BORED! We’ve been on the road for two days and I’m already so bored, bored, bored.

I think Uncle Harry’s sad about something. He keeps crying at night and not looking at Macey. Whenever I get carsick and try to look out the window when we’ve stopped he snaps at me to keep the blinds shut.

Kevin’s sad too. He’s pretending like he’s not crying but I can hear him in the bathroom sometimes. I think he really misses his mom. Macey misses her too but she’s not crying.

I don’t wanna play more Go-Fish but there’s no INTERNET out here so I can’t watch anything on YouTube. This is gonna be a loooong trip.

Bethany

*~*

Dear Diary,

I think I saw someone who was really sick today.

We were stopped at a gas station to load up on snacks, I think we were the only ones there cuz I didn’t see anyone else. I was playing Barbies with Macey just outside the camper and we were pretending to be dragon riders when I heard something. I looked up and I saw a lady walking up.

She didn’t look very good, her skin was all gross and her eyes were leaking green and white goo, sorta like whenever I have a cut that gets infected. She looked really scary. I yelled for Kevin and he poked his head out to see her getting closer.

I think he was scared.

He grabbed me by the hair and Macey too, pulling us in and yelling to his dad that one of ‘them’ was out there. I dropped my Barbie and asked Kevin to go get it because I didn’t want to see that ucky lady anymore, but he told me to shut up.

He must’ve felt bad because after his dad came back, he went and got my doll. I don’t know what happened to that lady, but she was gone. I think Uncle Harry told her to go away.

Bethany

*~*

Dear Diary,

We’re not going to Disneyworld.

Daddy held a ‘pow-wow’ when we stopped for the night to tell us why we were on vacation. It’s not really a vacation. People are getting really sick and they’re becoming very dangerous. If we’re too loud, they’ll come and they’ll hurt us. The sick people are attracted to noise and they’re very dangerous. They could get us sick too. I don’t wanna get sick so I wanna be quiet.

Aunt Debbie died. That’s why Kevin and Uncle Harry have been so sad. They told me and Macey at the same time. One of the sick people hurt her really badly while she was at work. She’s in heaven now with Great Aunt Julia and my dog Bucket. I’m gonna miss Aunt Debbie. She always liked singing in the car with us, even though she sung really badly.

Macey cried until she fell asleep. I haven’t cried yet. I feel really sad, but I can’t cry. I hope I’m not broken.

Bethany

*~*

Dear Diary,

I’m not broken, it just took a while. I was eating breakfast with Kevin and Macey when I started bawling my eyes out. I’m never ever ever going to see Aunt Debbie again. She’s not gonna get to see Mommy’s baby. And I’m scared that I’ll get sick too and hurt Macey and Kevin and Mommy.

Macey hugged me better and told me that I wasn’t everever gonna get sick, we have her daddy and my daddy and they’ll make sure we’re safe. That made me feel better.

I think Mommy’s scared about the baby. We can’t go to a hospital so she can have it. I hope she’ll be okay.

Bethany

*~*

Dear Diary,

Mommy’s having the baby right now!!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!!

She’s hurting really badly but she’s trying not to scream so the ‘zombies’ (that’s what Kevin says they are) don’t find us. I feel really bad for her.

I gotta stay in the truck right now. I’m keeping a look out for zombies with Macey and Kevin! Haven’t seen any though. Just a lot of empty road and no cars. It’s super quiet.

Take that back- mommy just screamed. Kevin has his dad’s gun in his hand and he’s looking scared.

I’m a little scared too but I know we’ll be okay.

Bethany

*~*

Dear Diary,

I have a little brother. I’m so happy. We’re all really happy.

He’s so tiny and bald! He’s got like maybe five hairs on his head, and dad told me to stop exaggerating but it’s true! I love him so much. I want him to be safe and I promised mommy that I’ll do my best to make sure he’s happy. Mommy’s tired but she smiled so wide when I said that.

My brother’s named Nathan. I love him so, so much.

Bethany

*~*

Dear Diary,

It’s been a crazy few days. Nathan really likes to cry a lot. Dad says I wasn’t this fussy, but I think he’s stressed out. We’ve seen a lot more zombies lately now that we’re getting closer to a town and they can hear Nathan crying.

Uncle Harry and Dad go out when they start getting too close to bash in their heads with a baseball bat. It’s a lot quieter than the gun, which can only be used in emergencies. I’m not allowed to look outside when they’re getting rid of the zombies, but sometimes I take a peek.

I always knew my daddy was strong.

Ugh, Nathan’s crying again. Mommy says he’s having trouble ‘latching’. I don’t know what that means, but I’m gonna have a headache if Nathan keeps crying.

Bethany

*~*

Dear Diary,

Uncle Harry, Daddy, and Kevin are going into town. They have to get baby supplies. Mom is letting me and Macey take care of Nathan while she’s lookout. I get to be a babysitter for my own brother!

Macey doesn’t like holding him, she says he kinda stinks but I love holding him. He’s so still and he just looks at me and I love it so much. Because he loves me too.

It’s getting dark. I hope Daddy gets home soon.

Bethany

*~*

Dear Diary,

It’s been two days. Daddy and everyone else isn’t back yet. Mommy’s really scared. She’s tried calling them a few times but they don’t pick up, it just rings out. She’s crying.

I’m so scared that my daddy’s dead.

Nathan needs to stop crying. The zombies are getting closer. And Mommy isn’t strong enough to use the bat to bash in their heads.

Bethany

*~*

Dear Diary,

Daddy’s back! Everyone’s okay! And they brought back SO MUCH STUFF! I get to have potato chips at dinner tonight, I’m so excited.

Kevin told me what happened. Apparently they got cornered in a building and had to wait for the right moment to book it. It was so scary, he said, but it sounds exciting! I’m glad everyone’s not hurt though. Nathan’s a lot happier that daddy’s back too, I think.

I can’t wait for potato chips. I have to wait until Daddy and Uncle Harry clear away the zombies though. No dinner until we’re safe.

Bethany

*~*

Dear Diary,

We didn’t have dinner last night. Uncle Harry’s dead.

He got torn to pieces in front of the camper. We thought the zombies were all gone but they weren’t and Uncle Harry was heading on back when they all attacked him at once and they bit his neck and there was so much blood and it was so so horrible… there was nothing Daddy could do.

We all cried last night as we drove away. We couldn’t even bury him. We had to leave him behind.

Macey and Kevin don’t have a mommy or a daddy anymore. I don’t have an uncle anymore. Daddy doesn’t have a brother anymore.

I wish we were going to Disney instead.

Bethany

*~*

Dear Diary,

Mommy says that Nathan has a colic. I think that just means he cries a lot.

Kevin’s teaching me and Macey how to drive the camper. He no longer teases us or calls our dolls stupid. He makes sure we have plenty to eat and reminds us to be quiet.

I keep waking up in the night crying. Kevin once had to smush a pillow into my face to keep me quiet because he couldn’t wake me up. I can’t stop thinking about Uncle Harry. How much it hurt when the zombies ate him.

Why is this happening to us? And why can’t Nathan stop CRYING?

Bethany

*~*

Dear Diary,

Mommy and Daddy are going to get more supplies. Nathan needs more formula and diapers. Kevin is going to keep look out while they’re gone, Macey and I are going to watch the baby.

He won’t stop crying. We’re trying SO HARD but he won’t be quiet. We’re trying to feed him but he won’t eat, and he won’t nap, and his diaper’s clean, and I don’t know what to DO. I keep asking Kevin but he doesn’t know either.

I heard Daddy tell Kevin if they’re not back in two days we have to leave.

I hope Daddy comes back in time.

Bethany

*~*~

Dear Diary,

I’m a murderer.

I killed Nathan.

It was an accident! The zombies were getting close, Kevin was in the front with his bat prepped and Nathan just wouldn’t stop CRYING! Macey was crying too, she was so scared they were gonna get inside to get to the noise and then the zombies would eat us all up. I didn’t know what to do, so I decided to make Nathan quieter by covering his face with a pillow.

It worked. He stopped crying. But when I took the pillow away his lips were blue and he wasn’t breathing. I tried to wake him up but he wouldn’t wake up. I shouted for Kevin and he tried to wake Nathan up but he couldn’t.

I killed my own little brother. I’m so sorry Nathan. It wasn’t your fault you were colic-y. But it is my fault for not being able to help you.

Bethany

*~*

Dear Diary,

We had a funeral for Nathan today. I wasn’t allowed to be apart of it, I had to stay in the trailer.

Mommy hit me when she found out what happened. Kevin tried to take the blame but I couldn’t let him do that. It wouldn’t be fair. I killed Nathan. Not Kevin.

Mommy hates me now. Whenever I say something she tells me to shut up. She hates me. I hate me too.

I think Macey hates me too. She doesn’t want to play with me anymore. Daddy just makes sure I eat, even though I don’t want to. He doesn’t talk to me.

I think the only person who likes me now is Kevin. After dark I’ll sneak out and put my favorite doll on Nathan’s grave. So he isn’t alone when we leave.

Bethany

*~*

Dear Diary,

Mommy isn’t doing well. She keeps snapping and yelling at everyone, even though Daddy has to remind her that she has to be quiet or the zombies will get us.

Last night I woke up and she was standing over my bed. I sat up and asked why she was up. She just glared and stomped back to bed and started crying again.

I just make things worse by being here.

Bethany

*~*

Dear Diary,

I think Mommy tried to kill me today.

I was washing up at a creek we stopped by when my head was shoved down below the water. I couldn’t breathe. I tried to scream but I just got a mouthful of mud. I thought I was going to drown.

Then I was let go and I popped back up so I could scream.

Mommy was being dragged away by Kevin, Kevin was calling her a lot of mean words I can’t repeat but I can write down- ‘bitch’ was one of them. He called her a bitch a lot. Mommy just cried and screamed nonsense, so we had to get out of there quickly so the zombies couldn’t find us.

My mouth still tastes like dirt. Mommy’s just sitting on the couch and staring at me. Kevin won’t leave my side. I’m glad there’s someone who loves me still.

Bethany

*~*

Dear Diary,

We’re almost to Florida. Maybe we can make it to Disney after all.

Bethany

*~*

Dear Diary,

My parents forgot me.

We stopped at an abandoned motel. There was no one there except for a few zombies and Kevin took care of them. He’s so strong. I went to sleep in a bed last night, Macey was next to me. But when I woke up this morning I was alone, with my backpack full of my favorite toys and my favorite foods.

The camper’s gone.

They’ll realize I’m gone soon and come back, right?

Bethany

*~*

Dear Diary,

It’s been two days. I’ve spotted a few zombies but they don’t come close. They don’t realize I’m here, I’m excellent at being quiet.

I’m still waiting for my mom and dad. I’m searching the motel for more food so I don’t go hungry. At least the sink works so I’m not thirsty.

Bethany

*~*

Dear Diary,

It’s been five days. They have to come back soon. They have to.

Bethany

*~*

Dear Diary,

It’s been two whole weeks. I think I found all the food that’s left here. And Mommy and Daddy aren’t ever coming back.

So I gotta go find them.

I packed my bag full as I could and I’m gonna start walking today. Maybe they’ll still be going to Disney, and we can meet there.

I’m so sorry, Mommy and Daddy, for killing Nathan. But maybe when I find you again, you’ll forgive me.

Bethany

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