Lost at Sea

9/17

Lucy, you’re gonna be so mad when we’re back, but maybe knowing I’m keeping this daily just for you will make it all better.

Alex was right, I’m actually a natural sailor. Luke’s already ate shit on the deck twice, his face is all banged up because he doesn’t have his sea legs. Better than poor Jake already though. He’s been barfing below deck this whole time. Fucking gross.

But oh man, once the heat dies down at home, we’ll be back, and we’re gonna be so rich. It’ll all be worth it babe. All worth it.

9/18

Same old shit today. Mostly planning on how to spend the money. It’s gonna be sick. I think I wanna buy a house with you. I can’t get you off my mind. Alex is being an ass and telling me that you’re just another girl, but I know you’re more than that. Any girl I hook up with after you will probably be after me for the money, but I know you love me for me. And now I’ll be able to take care of us.

I really like the ocean though, maybe we can get a boat! I’ve been out here for almost a week and I still love it! The air smells nice, I can dive in and swim whenever the fuck I want, and we’ve brought enough supplies to last us months. I would stay out here the rest of my life.

Except I don’t have you. That’d be the one thing I’d change.

9/19

Jake’s still puking. Alex’s worried he’s gonna get dehydrated. But he’s looking a little better today. And Luke’s finally stopped falling over every ten minutes. Still a damn klutz, always will be, but he’s cool. He’s starting to like it out here too.

I’m making a seagull my pet. I just throw this one dude with a funny black mark on his wing my crusts and he’s chill. I had to kick him once or twice when he tried to steal my meal but he’s learning. I’m naming him Pat.

9/20

You will not believe this, babe. I saw a whale!

I was out early this morning checking on everything and deciding if we should try fishing again when I saw its tail flip out of the water. I started screaming so loud everyone thought I’d seen the damn Kraken or something. By the time they got up there though it was gone. I’m so mad that I don’t have my cellphone, Alex made us trash them all.

This thing’s tail fin had to be the same size as my boat. Alex’s told me I’m exaggerating and there ain’t a whale that size but I’m serious! You’d believe me. I hope I can spot some dolphins for you, tell you about it. I know how much you love dolphins.

9/21

Ugh, now I’m seasick.

It’s probably just food poisoning, we’re all agreeing Luke’s not allowed to cook anymore. I’ll be ship cook again once I stop blowing chunks into the wastebasket. Alex’s kept on the radio with a buddy of his. I know you’re probably super confused right now and hurt about what happened, but I promise, it’s not what you think. It must’ve happened after we got out of there. We’re not killers, babe. I promise.

9/22

Nightmares AND sea sickness. Fucking fantastic.

Staying below deck today. Alex’s starting to get a big head. He’s always had one, but it’s only worse cuz he’s the only one out here with sailing experience, so we kinda have to take his word on everything. You know how he is.

Jake’s taken over cooking duties. I can only eat small portions but he’s pretty good. Not as good as me though. I’ll be making pancakes for you when I’m back, with strawberry sauce. Your favorite.

9/23

Hah! Jake saw the whale too!

I stumbled on deck when I heard him start hollering, and I saw its back for just a second before he dived. I’m gonna be smug for the whole day.

Jake’s really spooked though. Keeps saying it’s ‘too big’ for a whale.

A whale. Whales are fucking big. That’s their thing. God he’s an idiot.

Sky’s super dark already and it’s only five. I hope it’s not gonna storm.

9/27

It stormed four whole damn days. I’ve had no time to hit up my journal, I’m glad we’re still alive. I thought the boat was gonna capsize. We stayed afloat though. No one got hurt, well, not too badly. Luke knocked out a tooth during some part of it. He looks super miserable.

It’s all good now though. Really gray out. Really gloomy. I think I saw a dolphin, but I couldn’t be sure. I’m getting real tired of eating canned shit though. It’ll be worth it though. All worth it.

9/28

Shit fuck. Holy shit fuck.

I’m so glad you’re not here babe. You’d be so upset. I saw half of a dolphin. Several, actually. That was all that was left.

I smelled something like pennies or rust and I looked overboard to see it floating up. At first I thought it was a dolphin coming to say hello. But when it surfaced, I screamed and threw up. It must’ve met a shark or something. Its upper half was scratched up and its bottom was just. Gone. There was no tail.

And then a lot more bobbed up. Fins, heads, all bloody and torn up. I sobbed like a bitch, Lucy. Those poor dolphins. Alex told me to man up but I just couldn’t deal. I’m not like him.

RIP Dolphins. There was at least six. I’d pour one out for you, but I can’t waste beer without Luke bitching at me. I think he’s drank more beer than water at this point.

9/29

Woke up last night to Jake screaming again. He saw the whale again. But this time he’s swearing up and down it’s not a damn whale. He was just going up to take a leak when he saw its shape below the boat. Apparently it’s long and has trailing fins. He’s scared shitless. Almost stole the lifeboat to start paddling home and to turn himself in.

Alex punched him so hard that I think he went crosseyed for a bit. I mean, I can’t blame him. If Jake turns himself in we’re all fucked. The cops will come for us and we’ll all get thrown in jail for something that Alex did.

Still probably shouldn’t have hit Jake so hard though. Like. Damn. That had to hurt.

9/30

I miss you so much Lucy. I thought I heard you singing when I was trying to get to sleep. It was so nice to hear it. Then I woke up and realized I was imagining things. God, I’d almost take prison if that means I could at least have you visit me sometimes.

But I gotta wait it out. When I get back with my cut of the cash, and the jewels, and the gold, you’ll never have to work at that stupid diner ever again. We’ll be able to raise our baby with nothing to worry about.

I found the pregnancy test. That’s why I agreed to help Alex in the first place. I might give you this journal and hide in the other room. It’ll be worth it. I can’t wait to be a daddy to a mini Lucy or a mini Blake. Maybe we won’t take them sailing for a few years though.

Maybe. Even if the weather’s still shit.

10/1

The radio’s broken. Someone took a hammer or something to it. It’s smashed to pieces.

Alex was screaming, I was screaming, we ALL were screaming. Then Alex turned his rage on Jake, asking if this was his idea of a joke. Jake’s swearing it wasn’t him. Luke is too. Sure as hell know it wasn’t me. But that’s it.

We gotta head back. We need that damn radio. It’ll take maybe another week, as long as we don’t get lost. I’m praying we don’t get lost.

10/2

Again with the singing in my dreams. I’m really homesick.

Alex’s not sleeping. I think he’s worried about making it back. But we know we’re on the right course. We gotta be. We just gotta be.

Jake’s been kicked to the deck, he’s no longer allowed below since the radio was broken. Alex is sure it was him. I brought Jake up his shit when he tried to point fingers at Alex, but I know it couldn’t have been him. He’s the one always manning the damn thing.

10/3

That isn’t a whale. It isn’t a whale. I don’t know what the fuck it is. But it’s not a whale.

We all saw it this time. Jake’s miserable after sleeping above deck, I don’t think he slept at all. Eating lunch, tastes like garbage. I hate it. We all hate it. I want something with flavor, if I brought it up Luke would bitch at me though.

Then its head surfaced.

I heard the water and I looked to see its smooth head breach the surface. It’s smooth, like a dolphin, but green, dark green. Its three pairs of eyes looked at me, right at me. They’re bright yellow. I couldn’t move. If it wanted to eat me at that moment, I’d be lunch.

Then it went below the water and disappeared.

After it really hit us what we saw, we panicked.

Luke pissed himself, I could see the stain on his shorts. Jake began to babble nonsense and Alex bolted to the wheel. We were tearing out of there so fast I don’t think any Satan water snake could keep up.

Jake’s still sleeping on the deck. Alex refuses to let him down. I keep telling him that we gotta let him up, god knows if we’ll see that damn THING again, but he won’t. Luke’s being a fucking pussy and siding with Alex. I’d sleep up there with Jake… but I guess I’m a bit of a pussy myself.

10/4

Jake’s gone.

We didn’t hear anything. The lifeboat’s gone. So are a lot of the supplies. Luke’s rationing out everything to stretch it out longer, but we’re mostly worried about water. That’s what’s gonna be a bitch to make last.

I’m so pissed. I’m fucking scared. Alex is super quiet. Luke’s jumpy as hell. I’m just. I want to see your face again Lucy. More than anything.

10/5

We killed the Ortega couple.

I thought we were just gonna scare them a bit. That’s why the guns, and the hammers, that’s why. When Alex broke Mr. Ortega’s hand, I told him to knock it off and get the shit downstairs.

When Jake and I were down at the truck with the final load Luke and Alex shot them. So many times. I lost count of how many gunshots I heard by the time I got upstairs. Mr. Ortega’s head was fucking paste. Poor Mrs. Ortega was still alive somehow, that old bitch. I know we didn’t like them, they hated us, the poor kids, we made the neighborhood look bad. But god. I didn’t want to kill them.

The look in her eyes was desperate. Scared. Maybe of death, maybe of the pain, but she was scared. So fucking scared.

I think this is how she felt, how I feel right now.

The singing isn’t in my head. It’s in the water.

Luke’s gone up there, just to get a look he said. He’s not coming back. I think I caught a glimpse out the window, of something with hands pressing against the glass. Hands with claws two inches long.

10/10

Alex killed himself. He took the sharp edge of one of the can lids and slit his throat before jumping overboard.

I’m the only one left. But I’m not alone.

The serpent’s circling around the ship. It’s still staring at me. It’s not going to break the boat. It doesn’t have to. It knows what I’m going to do.

Forgive me, Lucy. Forgive me.

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