The Witch Coffin

I know people that would literally murder me if they knew I put this on the internet. But I don’t see many other options. If I go straight to the cops odds are I’LL get blamed for what happened to my friends and get thrown straight in jail for a multitude of reasons. And I know at least one of them is alive and I need to find them.

I’m a smuggler. I… come into possession of objects I shouldn’t have and sell it to whatever fat cat wants a new piece for their mantle. The Witch Coffin is probably the biggest thing I was gonna try and sneak into the states, but that was because it was a specific ‘request’. The Witch Coffin was discovered in eastern Europe, and to be honest I’m not sure why the buyer wanted it so damn badly. But hey, me and my crew were gonna get a mil and we figured we might as well try, right?

Theft itself went off without a hitch, but the next day I got picked up for being spotted at the scene. That’s all they had, but I still got kept in lock up for three days. Glad they let me out without a fight in the end but the moment I got back to the hideout I knew something was wrong. I could hear the flies buzzing.

There was so much blood. On the walls, on the ceiling, it looked like a guy just went kaboom while standing in the middle of one of the bedrooms. I found body parts scattered all over the house and the coffin was just… gone. What I saw could make a lesser man wet himself.

One of my crew, Nicole, she left her notebook behind. I always teased her about how she scribbled away in that damn thing every chance she got, but it helped clue me in about what happened

I have to find her. Just in case I can’t, or if I meet the same fate as my buddies, maybe one of you can.



Item was successfully retrieved. Item is a six by three foot coffin made of a blue gray stone, covered with intricate carvings. The lid depicts a carving of a long haired woman, positioned with her arms spread out with a chain in one hand and the other hand appearing to be clawed. I think she once had a face, but time has worn it away. The sides both depict various tortures and executions- drowning, stoning, being burnt at the stake, hanging, etc.

There is definitely something inside, I hear something rattling about as we dragged it off the truck. Finn keeps bugging us about just ‘taking a peek’ but if he so much as lays a finger on the lid I’m breaking said finger. We cannot deliver damaged goods to a client, that would ruin our reputation.

Not that he could lift the lid on his own anyway. Damn thing weighs a ton and kid’s a shrimp.


Something’s wrong. Rick has been gone over an hour and he was just supposed to duck out real quick for smokes.

This wouldn’t suck so much if he wasn’t the only one who knew how to contact the client. Abe agrees with me that we just need to lay low until Rick comes back. Finn’s nervous but he doesn’t have the balls to actually bail. He doesn’t know where I stashed our passports anyway.


Finn tried to lift the lid. ‘Just for a peek’. And as expected he nearly broke his hand and ended up cutting his palm on one of the sides. Fucking moron.

Abe bandaged him up while I cleaned the coffin up, Finn got some of his blood on it and I didn’t want it to stain. Got most of it off and hopefully the client doesn’t notice anything.


Think the heating broke. Abe is taking a look but the temperature dropped from a cozy 70 to a chilly 62. It’s going to get even colder tonight. Time to bundle up and think of those white sand beaches I’ll be vacationing on as I sleep.


Wish I had some trazodone left. Having trouble staying asleep. Probably the cold.

Maybe I can get a real prescription when we’re back in the states.


Had some strange dreams.

It was like I was walking through a story. Only a member of the audience rather than part of the play.

I saw a woman wearing a flowing, emerald green dress. Her dark hair hid her face from me, but all she was doing was picking various plants and adding them to her basket. Least at first.

Then another woman burst through the undergrowth and fell to her knees. Compared to the woman in the green dress, she looked dirty, simple. I couldn’t understand everything she said, but she kept pointing to the bruise on her face. Looked like someone clocked her good.

The wit woman in the green dress gently took her hands and her voice rung clear as a bell.

‘Come with me, and live joyful and free.’


Spiders. I really hate spiders.

There must’ve been a nest in the floor because Finn started screaming and when we ran into the coffin room to tell him to shut his pie hole when we saw the spiders. Big ones, covering the lid of the coffin.

I let Abe deal with that because I have a limit. Tell me to cause a distraction, blow up a truck, steal the crown jewels, I’ll do it. Don’t make me deal with god damn SPIDERS.


More fitful sleep just led to more weird dreams. I think my dreams took inspiration from that damn coffin, I swear the woman in green looks just like the carving on the lid.

She was teaching a group of women, least it looked like it. Still couldn’t see her face, but the group ate up her every word. The class was just women, some young as ten or eleven and the oldest looking to be in their seventies.

The woman was picking up certain plants or berries and quietly explaining their uses. Then she pointed to one of the youngest in the front row and asked, ‘Are you ready for your baptism?’

The girl nodded excitedly and the others gave her plenty of space as the woman walked to her. Taking a stone knife from her belt, the woman sliced open a part of her arm and held above the girl’s head.

Scarlet spattered against the girl’s cheeks and tongue before I woke up again. I think I’m staying awake until Rick gets back.


Still cold as hell. I’m going to kill Rick if the reason he’s been gone so wrong is because he hit it off with some hooker.


Breaking News: Big ole Abe is actually scared of something. Snakes.

Went to go check on the coffin and much to both our surprise there were three big ole guys just curled up on top. Abe screamed like a little girl and ran out of the room. They weren’t even a poisonous variety.

I don’t even know how they got to the coffin because they were sleepy with cold when I picked them up. Coffin itself is even colder. Like touching ice.

Tossed all their scaly butts outside. I wonder if I should tell Abe I once owned a ball python.


I must be on edge from the cold. Abe managed to get a lil fire going in the fireplace but I swear to God I saw a shadow while we were all trying to warm up near it. Like a shadow in the hallway. Like of someone heading to the coffin.

I bolted for the hall and back to the coffin room, but no one was there. No one in the rest of the house either and we searched attic to basement. Finn kept teasing me about being paranoid but Abe told me it was all right. When he was still in the army and was patrolling late one night he nearly shot up a bush thinking it was an insurgent. When you’re tired and anxious, it’s natural to see things in the dark.

It’s now 55 degrees in the house and dropping. Another five it’ll be the same outside and inside. I was built for Florida. Not this.


Found another snake in the coffin room, curled up in the corner. Didn’t recognize the species and Google isn’t telling me squat so I’m not gonna screw with it. I shall call him Herbert. Abe thinks we should call him Satan.

Finn called me paranoid earlier but he is even worse. He thinks the snake came from inside the coffin. Bitch the damn thing has a lid that’s probably over a hundred pounds. Not to mention it fits so well with the box itself a flea probably couldn’t wiggle out.


Maybe Finn was right to be paranoid.

I saw more shadows and started searching the house again. I swear I saw someone walking up and down the fucking hallway and I had to be sure. Finn went with me up to the second floor. Still teasing but I was glad not to be alone.

On the way down the stairs Finn suddenly just went flying down, head over heels. Landed on his arm at the bottom and I heard one nasty crunch.

Abe managed to put it in a sling but we can’t go for real help. Not now. We can’t have anyone become suspicious of us. Cops are still on high alert about the Witch Coffin going missing.

I hope that’s not what happened to Rick. Idiot.


50 degrees. So freaking tired.


I’m officially spooked. This isn’t the first time I’ve transported artifacts. Hell this isn’t even my first time transporting something from a grave.

But the shadows are whispering and the guys can hear them too. I enter a room and I can hear a soft voice. To me it’s just that. Muttering. But the moment Abe or Finn gets in the room that voice turns… Angry. Cold.

I don’t believe in ghosts. I don’t believe in ghosts.

It’s officially colder in the house than it is outside.


I don’t know how I fell asleep it’s so fucking COLD and the shadows are getting louder. I can’t make out what they’re saying but I know they’re saying something.

My latest dream. I don’t understand it.

The witch’s house is on fire. All her students are dead. Heads cut off.

The witch herself kneels before a mob. Her chest is full of arrows, her throat has been cut, her legs are broken in so many places… but her wounds still continue to flow with blood and she’s not fucking dying.

I finally catch a glimpse of her face as two men drag her to a box- no not a box. The coffin. She can’t be any older than eighteen. She is just a scared little girl who just wanted to live life in peace with her friends. She doesn’t know why she has these gifts. She doesn’t know why she can’t die. All she knows is that all her friends are now dead and it is her fault.

They throw her in the coffin and before the lid is placed on I hear her scream.

We have to let her out.


We are opening the Witch’s Coffin. There are these weird snakes everywhere and spiders are spinning webs of ice. It’s cold enough that I can see my fucking breath.

The coffin itself is bleeding. I thought it was just left over from where Finn cut himself but there is blood dripping from other parts of the coffin now. Parts he didn’t touch.

It is time to free the witch, no matter the consequences.


Rick, if you find this, your passport is under the sink in the basement bathroom. Get out of the country. Run for your life.

We opened the coffin and I thought for a second all that was left was bones. Dry. Dusty bones.

Then the lid cracked. Blood began seeping from the bones. Muscles, veins, organs, skin all grew back. The witch’s hair sprouting from her new scalp, growing until it nearly reached her ankles in length.

Then her eyes shot open. Her colorless eyes.

But she could see well enough to lunge at Finn.

Her fingers grew claws and shredded through him like he was paper. He didn’t stand a chance. She ripped off his head and I saw her stick her hand up his neck when Abe tackled her, screaming at me to run. Run as fast as I could.

I hid in the basement. I prayed for God to have mercy on my soul.

But the Witch hasn’t killed me.

When she got to the basement, she was soaked in blood and cradling Abe’s head in her arms. I shut my eyes and prayed she would make it quick.

She sat beside me, stroking Abe’s fluffy hair.

Then I heard Abe’s voice.

“How am I not dead?”

I opened my eyes to look at his head. The Witch had pressed two of her fingers to his lips. His eyes flicked around and his face was frozen in pure terror.

The Witch spoke, her voice strangely younger than I imagined it would be.

“Because. After consuming the other man’s brain, I realized I would need you and the woman. Simple knowledge isn’t enough to survive in such a startling and new world.” She turned her pale gaze on me. Slitted pupils seemed to sprout from the center of her eyes as they focused on me.

“Help me and I give this man a new body.”

She’s in the shower now, not even a foot away from me. Take away the eyes she does look normal enough. Abe’s head can’t talk without her magic, but he’s sentient. I can see the fear in his eyes.

I don’t know if she will actually keep to her word but that’s all I have to go off of.

Rick, please, save us.

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