And today had been going so well too.
Odra was right in the middle of telling Dullahan about the time she was chasing a butterfly and accidentally went head over heels into a pit when she saw it.
Black armor. All too familiarly black armor.
Odra didn’t even remember consciously making the decision to get out of her chair, she was now suddenly across the room and launched herself at that bastard, that fucking son of a bitch who dared show his face here-
It was only when Odra had sunk her teeth into the cretin’s arm that she realized this wasn’t Calipher. Nope. It was definitely his armor, she could guarantee that, but the blond twink inside that armor was not the edgelord Calipher.
The young man lifted his arm, smiling bemusedly. “Well, isn’t this a lovely greeting? Please get off of me though. Your spittle is starting to eat through my armor, and really, I just got this set. I would like to keep it for a bit longer.”
Odra stared at the pretty boy for a second longer before she let go, dropping to the ground. She wiped her mouth off. “Did you happen to take the armor off of a bastard?” she asked as she wiped her arm off.
“I’ll only share a secret if you share one too.” The man knelt down, still smiling in a way that made Odra’s skin crawl. He was definitely beautiful by human standards, flawless skin, blond curls, and a magical glow about him. Literally. He faintly glowed gold, like the sun, except not nearly as blinding.
“Pass.” Odra stuck her tongue out. “Sorry, I thought you were someone else. I’m going to go back to my beer-” The goblin had just finished turning around to head back to her table when she bonked right into a pair of very muscled legs.
“Eh? What… Oh hello there!”
Odra was scooped up like a doll, held under her armpits by a goliath woman built like a gladiator. “Aren’t you so cute!” she cooed. “Like a little kitten, hissing and clawing at a wolf! We should keep her!”
“Thunderwarrior, that’s not a kitten, that’s a goblin. Put her down, she probably has some kind of disease.”
Odra whipped her head around as she was now surrounded by an adventuring party she’d never met before. The goliath was just one part of it. There was now also a half elf with the grayest skin Odra had ever seen, a satyr with a golden hoofed shaped boot on his left leg, a fire genasi with each strand of hair glowing bright like the end of a lit fuse, a balding, fat hobgoblin she didn’t recognize… and one scrawny one wearing goggles that she did.
“Hey! You!” Odra squirmed, but she couldn’t get loose from the goliath’s iron grip. “You were with Calipher! Where is that no balls cretin!?”
Kendrenal shrugged. “I don’t keep track of my failures. Siding with Calipher was a mistake. One I have remedied. I now work with Crowley, who is much better.”
“Aren’t you a sweetheart,” the blond armor thief said, patting Kendrenal on the head as the hobgoblin practically vibrated out of his skin with joy. “Kendrenal, how about you get us all signed into the guild? Tell them you’re a part of my party, I might not come here very often, but I am an official card carrying member.” To demonstrate, he pulled the guild’s badge from his pack. “See? We’re all on the same side here. If you have a grudge with Kendrenal, I can help put it right.”
Odra bared her teeth. “I don’t need any favors from you, thanks. As far as I know, you’re no better than the guy who’s armor… you took…” She glanced down at his belt. “That’s not yours either!” she managed to finally wiggle her arm free and pointed at the mace. “That belongs to Calipha!”
“Well, as I’m sure you’ve said in the past,” Crowley reached up and poked Odra on the nose, “she should have kept a better hold of it.”
“Keep your fingers to yourself. I bite.”
Crowley chuckled. “Oh, you are delightful. Thunderwarrior, better put her down. She could be rabid.”
After giving her another rough pat on the head, Thunderwarrior plopped Odra back on the ground. “So cute,” the goliath crooned before Kendrenal scampered back.
“I’m a guild member now!” he proudly proclaimed before he started passing out badges. “And so are you, Wick’of’Candle…”
“Just Wick,” the genasi politely corrected.
“And so are you, Thunderwarrior,”
The goliath quietly squealed as she took the badge, which looked pathetically small in her hands.
“And so are you, Tynos,”
The satyr snatched the badge before he attached it to his hair like a barrette.
“And so are you, Elphira!”
The half elf took her badge, hummed appreciatively, and stuck it in her pouch.
The final member, the unfamiliar hobgoblin, hemed and hawed as he whipped his head around to look at the rest of the party. “Pardon me, but it looks that you’ve forgotten someone!” he snapped.
Kendrenal stroked his chin. “Did I?” He made a show of looking around at everyone. “… No, I don’t think so!”
The hobgoblin looked ready to pop as Kendrenal smiled innocently. “You nitwit, you forgot me! Second in command Turgut!” He shouted, shaking his finger.
“There’s a second in command Turgut?”
“You cheeky- that’s it! That’s enough from you! That’ll be ten laps! Ten laps around the guild building, right now! And I see that smile, Elphira, that’ll be double laps from you! Come on now, on the double!”
Elphira responded by calling Turgut what was likely an insulting word in Elvish before she turned to Thunderwarrior. “Come on, Nalthea, let’s go check out the baths, my back is killing me,” she said.
Thunderwarrior beamed. “Then I will rub your back!” she proclaimed as she following the blushing half drow out.
“You’re not allowed to fuck in the baths!” Odra shouted after the girls.
The genasi, Wick, chuckled before he knelt down to Odra’s level. “There will be no passionate exchange between them. As beautiful as both of them are, Elphira is too shy to confess, and while goliaths are strong… they are incredibly dense and will not understand romantic intent unless you spell it out to them.” He pushed down his glasses, revealing his fiery orange eyes.
Odra scooted away from Wick. “Yeah, gotcha. You’re not my friend, and your breath smells like sulfur, so I’m just gonna go,” she said as she turned away again.
She slunk back to the table, where Garl was waiting for her. “… That’s Calipher’s armor?” he asked.
“I’m sure of it. And that second hobgoblin, the one with the hand cannon,” she nodded over at the bar, where Turgut was sulking as Kendrenal happily sucked away at a frothy drink. “He was there.”
“I think I remember him,” Garl reached to touch a chip on his arm, “left me with this. Course, since he wasn’t a guild member then, I don’t think the guild master will give a damn. Especially because he already hates the both of us. What do you think happened to Calipher?”
Odra eyed Crowley, who was laughing and talking with the guild master, who wasn’t laughing or even smiling.
“… I don’t know. But I have a bad feeling about Crowley.”