A few seconds. I looked down for just a few seconds and I ended up being treated to an experience that has permanently warped my sense of reality.
I was driving home after work, I’d had to stay late to help clean up and the sun was already on its way down when I finally got out the door. I’d had a podcast playing on my phone and for some reason it’d randomly paused, so I glanced down for just a moment to see why it’d stopped.
When I looked back up, I was faced with a pair of headlights flooding my vision and I couldn’t even hit the horn before I collided head on with the other car that had drifted out of its lane.
Continue reading d10
I was the only one home when my father called me in for his death bed confession.
He wasn’t very old in the grand scheme of things, only fifty-eight, but after a violent mugging that took place about twenty years ago, his physical health hadn’t always been great. It really took a downhill turn last year. Heart failure. And it just wasn’t getting better.
My sister Amber and I were taking care of him as his health deteriorated. Last week though, Amber was running errands for our grandmother, so yeah. I was alone. When dad called for me I thought he might need a drink or help getting to the bathroom.
Instead, he told me to sit down. He told me I needed to know the truth, the truth about the mugging and about what really happened that night.
After all of this, he’d pass in his sleep a few hours later. I can’t ask for any more details. All I can do is relay this story to you… and find out how much truth there really is to it. Below is the confession, word for word.
Continue reading My Father Survived The Chair of Truth
I had thirty one teeth. I know, the average is thirty two. When I was seventeen, I got hit in the face with a soccer ball, full force. Knocked out my upper right incisor.
Yup, just thirty one teeth. Made for a good story, whenever someone asked about the gap in my mouth.
Then that gap vanished about three weeks ago. Right after a visit to the dentist’s.
What a time to go to the dentist, right? But I felt a hole in one of my molars, and I couldn’t put off getting it looked at. My normal guy was out with the flu. New dentist was this chick named Dr. Mills. She didn’t seem so bad, I think she was kinda pretty, but I was more focused on the pain in my tooth than the attractiveness of my new dentist.
Maybe I should’ve paid more attention. The day after the appointment, I woke up with thirty two teeth.
Continue reading I’m spitting out teeth that aren’t mine
I’ve never been hurt by the fact that my stepfather loved my sister more than me. For me, it’s just that- a fact.
I don’t remember my real dad at all, really. He passed away when I was around two or three years old. I remember meeting Dale for the first time, although even that’s getting pretty fuzzy. I remember the giant of a man kneeling down to my level, stone faced and solemn.
Then he reached forward and gave my hand a shake. “You like spaghetti?” He asked. I only nodded, too shy to speak. He just grunted and headed to the kitchen to start throwing dinner together. Dale can make a killer spaghetti. And I didn’t even like spaghetti until then.
I’m not saying he doesn’t love me. He definitely does, back then he did his best to connect with a shy kid that’d rather color than talk to people. He had also been married before, married and divorced with a son that was much older than I was. Max was already seventeen when I was only six. And it was at six years old that my mom and Dale had my sister, Harmony-Rose. Just Harmony for short, of course.
Continue reading The Sacrifice for Harmony Rose
I didn’t even know I had an older brother until he showed up outside my school that afternoon.
It was two years ago, after school. I was a sophomore, my little sister Paige was a freshman. The original plan that day was hitching a ride to a friend’s house, where we’d probably team up and knock out our homework as quickly as possible.
That plan changed when we exited the building and someone called my name.
“Parker! Hey, Parker!”
My attention was immediately grabbed and I glanced around for anyone familiar. All I saw was a guy in his late twenties, leaning against a fancy car parked on the street. He smiled and waved me over.
“Parker, over here!”
Continue reading My Older Brother Paul
I think most people are surprised when they learn one of my hobbies is taxidermy.
I know what you probably expect when you hear that- some shady looking Ed Gein kinda guy. I’m gonna clear this up off the bat. Not everyone that practices taxidermy looks like a serial killer, all empty eyes and unsettling grins. I’d like to say I’m pretty normal, as far as your average human being goes. I’m close to my parents, I have a good job, I even have a dog named Hamlet. But I also really do enjoy taxidermy.
I picked up the hobby almost… god, has to be like ten to twelve years now. At the time, I thought the same as probably most of you, that taxidermy was for people like Norman Bates or Leatherface. That changed during a highschool project where I had to shadow someone at their workplace. Since I was sick the day all the popular choices were taken, I got stuck working at McConnell Taxidermy with the stern looking Walter McConnell. Although I originally expected to be either bored or grossed out, it was actually a lot of fun. For the most part Walter and I just kicked back and watched TV and enjoyed his husband Bernard’s home cooking.
Continue reading Unnatural Combinations
When I first found out I was pregnant, I really felt like I was in over my head. I mean, me, a mom? I can barely take care of myself, let alone even imagine taking care of a baby. But thankfully for me, I had my boyfriend’s mom was in my corner. My own mom’s a fuck up and none of my girl friends have kids yet, but the moment Amy found out I was pregnant she immediately came through. I don’t know what I would’ve done without her great advice, so I’ve decided to share it with anyone and everyone that I can!
1. Be prepared for the mood swings.
I’m already an emotional person but jeez. I literally burst into tears over dropping a tomato. My poor boyfriend, hah. Shawn’s a great guy but has no idea what to do when women start crying, so he just backed out of the kitchen. Moments later, Amy came in with a tissue box and some comforting words. She finished up dinner for me too, and lemme tell you, Amy’s a fantastic cook. Taco Tuesday is now her place.
Continue reading What to Expect When You’re Expecting
Jon didn’t even have the door all the way open before Barley growled and let out a hostile bark. Instinctively Jon slammed the door back shut before he pressed his eye against the peephole.
His gut turned as he saw the creature that used to be his landlord stumbling on past. Nate came to a stop before his head rolled over to look right back through that peephole. Cold sweat dripped down Jon’s neck as he felt those bloodshot eyes seemingly stare right back at his.
Then something crashed in the apartment over and Nate began dragging himself towards the source of the sound, a sound akin to a hiss slipping from his rotting lips as he began to claw at the neighbor’s door.
Jon swallowed as he slowly stepped away from the door. “Michael, how’s it looking out there?” He asked, getting nothing in response. Gritting his teeth, Jon spun around “Michael, I swear to god-”
Michael jolted out of his thoughts. “Christ, sorry, just… look out there, Jon. Look,” He pulled back the curtain enough to reveal the hell outside.
Continue reading Dark Flower, Chapter Four
“Come on, man, it’s an easy three grand. We just gotta drive through the night.”
I stared at Tucker, my best and stupidest friend. “And it’s not drugs? We aren’t transporting coke or something?” I asked.
“No, dude, it’s not illegal,” He rolled his eyes, “and it’s not drugs or people. I asked.”
I chewed on my inner lip as I considered the drawbacks to joining Tucker on another of his poor life decisions. “What is it then?” I asked.
Tucker shrugged. “All the guy said was come by tonight with a friend.”
Continue reading I was hired to transport an exotic pet to its buyer
This took place all about three years ago. I was going to college at the time and was living with two of my friends, Phoebe and Macie, along with Macie’s boyfriend Joe. I’d been friends with Phoebe since we were kids but only recently befriended Macie within like a year of agreeing to move in together, and Joe was sort of a last minute addition.
Well, to sum it all up so we’re not here all day, Joe was a jackass. He was a lousy roommate, but he was even worse to Macie, who’s a pretty meek person and a doormat for Jackass Joe. It was the third time Joe was caught sleeping around that Macie finally snapped and broke up with Joe. He responded by taking off and leaving us scrambling for a new roommate so we didn’t end up losing our place. I think it was Macie who posted the ad on our school’s Facebook page as a last ditch resort. It didn’t matter if they smelled like ham or were up all night blasting Marilyn Manson, we just needed someone to pitch in with the bills.
The next day I answered the door to Miss Dorothy Ball.
Continue reading The Strangest Roommate I’ve Ever Had