When I was nineteen I went to Italy with a bunch of friends and nearly got my dumb ass killed. This is the closest I’ll probably get to giving a moral lesson in my lifetime. This was back in the early nineties, so it’s been a while, but I remember the important details.
How I pissed off these guys is a little fuzzy, I’ll admit. I was teetering on the edge of black out drunk, I think I mouthed off to this bad ass kinda guy, and he didn’t like my attitude.
So when I left the bar he followed me and knocked me out, judging by the goose egg I had blooming on the backside of my head when I woke up.
Continue reading Stare
Somebody kept smoking in our apartment building.
I find nothing more inconsiderate and rude than instead of going outside to have your damn cancer stick, you choose to remain in the hallways and puff out your nasty smoke that doesn’t just magically vanish after you leave. Oh no. It sticks around. It clings. I can’t tell you what to do, I’m not your mother, but for fuck’s sake, no one else wants to smell your damn cigarettes. Especially not me.
Continue reading Smoking Kills
I used to be the star of a kid’s show called Lola’s Dollhouse back in the eighties. It was one of those that aired on a few local channels. I’d always wanted to be a movie star as a child, so when auditions were held, I begged my mom and dad until they caved. They made sure I knew there was next to no chance that I’d get the part. After all, dozens of little girls who had acting experience were already trying out for parts. The odds were not in my favor.
I proved them wrong when I scored the lead role of Lola. Lola was a curious little kid who had a big imagination with what went on with her dolls. Once her ‘parents’ left, her dolls would grow to full size as a full doll family and they’d go on magical adventures together. I know. Real ground breaking television right here.
Continue reading Show Business
You know you’re in for a treat when you can already see the props peeling off the walls before you even get in.
Rick tried to push the foam sword back on the wall, only for it to flop back down the moment he let go. I snickered and elbowed him. “Leave it alone, you’re just making it worse,” I said.
“It looks… so sad though…” Rick nudged it before he huffed and crossed his arms. “This is so stupid.”
“Shut up, it’s either this or we’re stuck watching Nightmare Before Christmas on repeat with my little sister,” I said.
Susan blinked owlishly. “But I like Nightmare Before Christmas,” She said.
Continue reading The Shittiest Haunted House
You know, there was a time I thought I could keep doing porn forever.
Hi, I’m Beth. That’s not the name I use in the industry, but I think this is the closest I’ll get to being anonymous. I started doing adult videos when I was twenty, I wanted to be an actress but I wasn’t getting noticed and I’d just lost my job as a waitress. I had bills to pay. I figured I’d do it just once, something soft core, something to make sure I didn’t get kicked onto the streets.
I didn’t expect to enjoy it so much.
Continue reading The Secret of Being Beautiful
TW: Mentions of Sexual Assault
The first thing I thought when I was pulled from the wreckage was ‘thank god, I’m fucking alive’.
Much before the plane crash I really don’t remember, other than being suddenly jolted awake by everyone on the flight panicking and screaming for their lives. Then I heard metal twisting, my head hit something, and then darkness.
“Holy shit, you’re alive! Oh my god, please be actually alive and your eyes aren’t just open…”
Continue reading Savior
Eleven AM and he hasn’t even come down for breakfast.
It’s tough being a single mom of a teenage boy. I don’t complain, hell no, I love my son. Jamie’s done nothing but make my life better for the most part. As a little one, he was always so quiet, loving storytime and reading books. He had always a higher reading level than most kids his age, something which I always encouraged. We made weekly trips to the library where he’d bolt to look at the books, not even pausing to look at the movie section.
Continue reading Phases
When it comes to these cheap arcade pizzeria places, two things always remain the same- the carpet is always sticky, and the pizza is always an abomination.
I tried not to shudder as the bland sauce touched my tongue and slid down my throat. The cheese had been taken clean off in a single, greasy first bite, and I’d been chewing on it for about three minutes before I could finally swallow it.
However, pizza is pizza to the kids, and most of them had already taken off to play in the plastic tunnels or the germ fest that was the ball pit after stuffing as many slices as they could down their throats. I had no idea how they did it. I could barely finish my piece without feeling queasy.
Continue reading The Pizzeria Catastrophe
When I was twelve years old I peeped into a girl’s window for the first and last time.
I lived in a pretty boisterous area of town, not too far away from the nearby college. Right down the street was a house leased to a group of maybe five to six girls. The neighborhood didn’t mind them, they didn’t have crazy parties or trash the place. In fact one of them had a habit of bringing my mom cookies, as a thank you for being so welcoming to the area.
It’s how my brother Elliot got the idea in the first place.
Continue reading Peeping Tom
TW: Mentions of Pedophilia
When we moved to Pine Drive, I never expected to find a conspiracy among the kids there.
I was an only child and a loner, thanks to my parents always moving. My dad’s job had him hopping from state to state. It was a pretty tough going if you wanted to make friends. But he promised that we’d stay at least six months here, so I had a chance to make at least one friend.
And whadya know, on my block, there were a ton of kids to make friends with.
Continue reading Our Pet Monster