creative writing – Page 4 – The Odd Cat Lady

The Dangers of Tattoos

Out of the nine guys at Dillan’s bachelor party, I’m the only one left alive. And I don’t know how much more time I have.

Dillan was a friend from my highschool days. We weren’t close, but we hung out when all our other friends were busy. I was happy to hear he was getting hitched to his girl Heather, they were good for each other. When he asked me to join him and a few of the other guys for drinks, I happily accepted. One last crazy night before he said I Do.

We’d all gotten pretty buzzed when Mickey threw out this brilliant idea:

‘We should all get tattoos!’

Teacher’s Pet

TW: Statutory Rape

I think every straight guy in my school had a thing for Miss Bell.

I’m the last dude you want to come to when it comes to judging ‘female beauty’, but even I could admit she was pretty. Blonde hair usually drawn back in that messy bun style, a bod that would make Venus jealous, and a round face that was nearly always smiling or laughing.

She was our English II teacher, she’d just transferred in that year from California. During our first class, she told about going to college and how she used to surf on the weekends. My friend Sean elbowed me and whispered about how she’d look in a bikini. My practical ass said that she probably was wearing a wetsuit when she surfed. This got the back of my head punched and Sean whispering ‘Gaaaaaaaaaay’ into my ear. I mean, really not inaccurate, but the punch wasn’t necessary.

I’m Addicted to Eating Bugs

I suppose it started small, like all addictions do. I was in the first grade, having some corner time because I threw a crayon at Brandon’s head. He totally deserved it but that’s another story for another day.

Anyway, I was facing the brick wall, imagining horrible fates for this jerk of a classmate when I heard a quiet buzzing. I looked by my feet to see an old cobweb, spider long gone but the dusty threads still managing to capture a fly. It wiggling and squirmed and if I hadn’t interfered it probably would have gotten loose and carried on with its life. But before I realized it I had plucked the fly free and placed it in my mouth.

There’s a girl who lives alone in the woods

Down a long dirt road, past a mile or so of forest, there’s a girl that lives all by herself in a big house. All of her relatives have passed, leaving her a treasure trove of valuables and money that she keeps on the property. There’s not even a dog to keep her safe from people who would take those things away.

And when the wrong ears hear all those things, their eyes fill with dollar signs and they decide to make the trek.

They always make the same wrong assumption though-

That I’m really alone.

Biter

I’m never going to complain about working at a daycare, it really is my dream job. I love working with kids and seeing how they grow up, when they learn to talk and walk, when they learn to string together sentences… It’s the best.

However, there are some kids that drive me up the wall.

“Ow! Parker, you don’t bite people!”

Nicky

It happened ten years ago. I was only eight years old. I woke up that morning to the smell of frying eggs and bacon.

Stumbling down the hallway, I was greeted by the sight of a dark haired woman at the stove, humming some friendly tune as she filled a cup to the near brim with orange juice. She turned to me and I nearly jumped out of my skin. In a sense she was pretty, but she had a vicious scar running down the left side of her face.

“Andy! You’re up!” She beamed as she picked up the plate stacked with a delicious smelling breakfast. “I had to run to the store, but I hope you like breakfast!”

Notes Passed at Camp Golden Oak

I’m so bored. – Sarah

If the Chef catches us passing notes during morning announcements again, we’re gonna get in a lot of trouble. – Marie

He won’t get us in trouble! He’ll just glare before taking them again. You excited for riding horses today? – Sarah

Not really. That creepy Palomino keeps following me. It’s scary. – Marie

Just ignore him! He’s just a wild horse. He’ll wander off when he gets bored. I call dibs on Onyx. – Sarah

Leech Advisory

Greetings, campers of Camp Golden Oak! I hope you’re having the time of your life this summer!

Now, we’ve had some heavy rain lately, I hope you’ve had fun with your extra time in the arts and craft room and are ready to go out and have fun! This week’s activities will include more nature hikes through the woods and seeing who will be the first camper to climb to the top of the rock wall this summer!

Rules for Camp Golden Oak

At Camp Golden Oak, we want you all to have the best experience you can. Just follow the few rules below to help keep everyone safe and having fun!

1. Always listen to your counselor. For this week, they’re your teacher, your leader, and most importantly, your friend. Don’t be afraid to come to them for help. They are there to listen.

2. Be kind to your fellow campers and never be afraid to make new friends. But be respectful, remember the Golden rule!

3. When on a nature hike, don’t wander off the trail, even if you see something that catches your eye. No one wants to be a Lost Camper!

Hit From Hell

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